Large Cultural Proof
My brother and I were invited to a party with the other people who live in our building. The building has one apartment per floor with 4 floors total. Right below us live a young, unmarried couple, right below them live another young, unmarried couple. And on the first floor I believe there lives a young single girl, but she wasn't at the party and I've never actually seen her. We were casually invited to the party for that weekend one day when we were coming or going from the apartment. They told us we would have light refreshments and drinks and were to come around their apartment at 20h on Friday night. My brother and I had no idea what common courtesy permitted us to bring. Seeing as we are in France, we figured we couldn't go wrong with a baguette and some brie. When we got to the party and entered their apartment, I was surprised to see that the refreshments laid out on the table looked much more American than our baguette and cheese, and I instantly felt a little awkward for bringing it along. But they were of course polite and grateful, and after we snacked on chips, pretzels, and nuts we ate the bread and cheese. Their apartment was of course almost the same layout as ours, except they had one big bedroom and an office space instead of two smaller bedrooms. Their furniture was very modern; a lot of it looked like it could've been from IKEA. They had a huge flat screen tv with mtv, a washer and dryer, and art and posters hanging on the wall. It was all very chic and professional looking.
Everyone at the party was aged between 20 and 22, and we all got along quite well together and I found myself wishing we had gotten to know them earlier. We talked about schooling; one of the guys was done with school and all three of the others were still students. Two of them were studying tourism, which is obviously a huge industry in France. The guys spoke English better than the girls, but collectively they had a good time trying to communicate with my brother, who speaks very, very little French. We talked about America, which is so glamorous in their eyes. We talked about music and books and technology. After it started to get late, the conversation broke into two groups; the girls on the couch and the guys on the chairs, until the guys left to go do I don't know what on the street. Smoke maybe? Of the four people, 3 of them are smokers. That explains why our bathroom always smells of smoke; it's right above the office space where Violette sends Antoine when he wants to smoke. With just the girls, we talked about all of our studies, their relationships. (The other two girls didn't know each other before this night either.) One couple has been together for 3 years and just moved in together less than a year ago, and the other couple has been dating for 6 years and moved in together almost 2 years ago. That would've made them about 18 or 19 years old at the time. I asked if she thought they would ever get married, and she said she thinks so, eventually. But that seems to always be how it is here; what's the hurry? And with some people they don't even think it's worth the bother at all. Living together unmarried has become so socially acceptable that marriage has no meaning, and is even sometimes scoffed at for being old fashioned or giving in to ancient social pressures.
The party actually went on later than I cared for it to. We had a fabulous time visiting and speaking French and eating, but I didn't get home until 3am. That's a 7 hour party. We actually ended up going to the other couple's apartment because everyone wanted to see it too, and then at that point they had to offer drinks and snacks as well. Finally I just had to announce that I needed to go to bed. My door was just right there, after all. I got the impression they wanted to see our apartment too; I think they were especially curious to see what the Americans' apartments would look like, but at 3am I wasn't super willing to invite them up, and thought I'll just invite them over another time. I'm sure they'll be disappointed; we are seriously lacking in stars and stripes decor. Maybe we'll have to find an Uncle Sam poster before that time!
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